By sure to read his return post, "What I Did on My Summer Vacation." If he ever gets laid off from the Boston Herald, he might find some promising fallback opportunities in comedy writing:
On day two of the trip, as Crittenden and his wife were departing from Milan for the Greek Isles, their itinerary was changed by an unexpected turn of events:Read the whole thing and don't miss what happens next!
Enter three gentlemen I will come to know during my long ordeal as Farouk, Achmed and Ali. Fanatical evildoers.
I sensed a problem in the airport departure lounge, when these three, bearded and wearing skull caps, began praying loudly, drawing looks of post-911 alarm from the other passengers. Once on the plane, they start swapping seats, jumping up and running around the plane like an Islamic extremist firecracker drill. The flight attendants watched in horror, exchanging looks. I recognize the look. It’s the one that says, “We’ll get the pants prosecuted off us if we try anything.” This is Europe, after all. No John Doe law. In fact, it is a violation of local multicultural appreciation laws to attempt to interfere with any act of religious expression, such as this clearly is. The other passengers shrug in resignation, as if stuck in a seat next to an overbearing stranger who’s going to want to talk the whole way. What’re you gonna do.
Well, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know we’re on the tarmac in Tehran. They collect the passports, and I think, OK, here we go.
I'll tempt my readers by noting that those bearded Middle Eastern eminences rubbed their hands together anxiously upon finding "Joooo-leeez Creetindin," that arch infidel, pro-American blogger among those on the passenger manifest!
For those just skimming the entry, be sure to scroll down to the bottom to glimpse Crittenden's cast of guest-posting luminaries, which includes my good blogging buddy, The Oxford Medievalist.